Everything starts out simple.

I'm in an "abyss" kinda mood.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I'm in an "abyss" kinda mood.

I thought absoluteness would never be in my dictionary.
Sadly, the shadows of it kept appearing.
These images I find it hard to forget.

I cried.

I cried so hard,
I thought the tears would never stop.

But it did.
The shower washed it away.
Just like it did to my smiles.

I came out of the shower,
Told myself to dry those tears.

I became someone more.
Someone that now held the strength,
The strength to keep absolute, together.

I told myself never to cry again.
Vulnerability.
Heck, throw it away.

I'm going to be stronger now.
I'm not going to shed a tear,
Neither am I feeling the need to smile.
I don't deserve my smile.

I washed it away remember?
Just like I did to those tears.

Time is the best healer.
The pain today,
Is less than the pain yesterday.
And the pain tomorrow,
will be less than today.

You thought you knew everything.
But sadly,
Everything was nothing at all.

Fullstop at
11:34 PM

I'm in a "Claustrophobic" kinda mood.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I'm in a "Claustrophobic" kinda mood.

It's been some time since I've blogged. It's late this time and I'm just feeling out of sorts these days. Just feel i'm struggling so hard even though the waters' just knee height. It feels as if I can't survive. It's just so hard to articulate this feeling. Nobody will feel or see things the same. No individual does.

Do you understand this feeling?

It's as if I'm trying to get to the other end of the road.
People are surging towards you. Yet.
You are going in the opposite direction.
You try so hard to turn back, follow the flow instead.
NO. You just can't.
People are pushing you back. Back to the same place.
You try so hard to get to the other end.
Can't breathe easy.

STOP. Please just STOP.
I can't stand this claustrophobic feeling.
I just want to get to the other end.
WHY can't I?

Built it up to watch it fall
like it meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave, the best of me
But, it was never,
never,
Enough.

Fullstop at
1:37 AM

I'm in a "short-of" kinda mood.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I'm in a "Short-of" kinda mood

Sometimes, it just starts to eat into you. Just when my perspective of life started to get a little sanguine, everything starts snowballing downhill again. I don't know what's exactly going on with my anatomy, or what is it exactly that I want. Obviously things just isnt good for me now.

I fall short of the yardstick of which optimism is measured, completely engulfed in this shroud of uncertainty and comtemplative nature of giving up everything I thought I had, might have had, control over.

Please, let my hair grow faster. I abhor it to the max now.

Fullstop at
2:06 PM

I'm in an "Escapist" kinda mood.

Monday, April 16, 2007

I'm in an "Escapist" kinda mood.

Perfuctory smiles that seem to show they care,
Yet having the way they planned is all they care.

I thought you had a chance.
Maybe. Just maybe.
But then you had to just throw it all away.

It's not an escapade you're having.
You're the escapist from the room of reality.

I find it so darn hard to bring you back.
Then again, I don't think I even want to try.

Fullstop at
8:21 PM

I'm in a "Half-alive" kinda mood.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I'm in a "Half-Alive" kinda mood.

You know that feeling when you get a sudden epiphany and it smacks right at you unexpectedly?
It's the touch of reality.
And man, does it hurt so darn bad.

"I'm almost alive, and i need you to try

and save me."

Fullstop at
10:37 PM

I'm in a "Fresh as Toast" kinda mood.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I'm in a "Fresh as Toast" kinda mood.

Things are starting to pick up. You know, i kind off see some positive saguinity in life. But then again, a part of me tells me that it's too early to lay down any form of judgement. Skeptic, I know.

Somehow, that's how reality plays it's role huh. You think your life is going down one way but reality swerves it the other. I don't really want to hold hopes or expectations of anyone or anything anymore. Keep to yourself, michelle. Close it all up. It's time again to cloister up and listen up, maybe, just maybe only then, you can finally figure out what you really want.

smiles that show their lines of lies, words that speak of inner lines.
That's what life presents itself.

Fullstop at
8:53 PM

I'm in a "compass-less" kinda mood.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I'm in a "Compass-less" kinda mood.

They say it's normal at such moments,
They say it's just stress that escalates.
They say it's not just you that feels this way,
They say it's that things have a way of hapening,
They say it's just the vibes thats affecting,
They say it's okay, cause everything will be fine
in the end.

I say it's abnormal at such moments,
I say it's more than just stress escalation
I say it's not just me alright, that's true,
I say it's more than happening that things have,
I say it's not just the vibes that affects,
I say it's not okay, cause where were you
in the end?

Go,Going,Gone.
I lost my compass-my guidance in life.
I am completely lost in this winding maze.
I lost every moment of happiness i used to have
I'm lost, lost, completely lost.

The Grand essentials of Happiness are: Something to do, Something to love and Something to hope for.

Fullstop at
8:04 PM